The “average rule”; check your friends’ list!

Hello lovelies!

I’ve been away for quite sometime but I’m thrilled to see what treasures wordpress has been keeping in store for me all these days. There’s a lot happening in my small town these days, so much that I wonder how big city guys manage the happenings there. I’ve been busy with birthday parties, term presentations, project reports and other unnecessary last-minute demands of teachers. Bytheway Bihter died in the serial Ishq e Mamnu today. No matter what people comment about that drama, I believe it was a mixture of awesome plot, extraordinary characters and commendable moral; a total HIT!

I’ve been thinking about writing on this amazing “average rule” since a fortnight but wasn’t getting time to write. It’s only because of my awesome teacher who took an off day today and left us with free classes that I’ve managed to write something on this favorite topic of mine.

I came across this statement when I was reading “The one-minute entrepreneur” and couldn’t forget it ever since.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

It’s a notion so simple, yet so difficult to get started with. The concept isn’t a new one, but it is a concept which is often ignored by people while living out their lives.
I believe I’m someone who took longer than most people to understand this concept. I clung onto people I didn’t want to be like. “But they were just friends” I said. What I didn’t know was they were becoming a part of my personality and whether I wanted it or not, that was how it worked.

My mum happened to think of this same idea in a much simpler way “If you want to become a better person, start admiring better people.”

My experiences with different groups of people now put forward the proofs to this rule. I stole a bit of each group I interfaced in my life; you will probably find similar experiences in your life as well.

In my second last year of high school, I was immersed with people who were of pretty low values. Some of them were total flirts; conversations commonly swirled in negativity. In no time, I unknowingly started becoming like them. I found their negative thoughts rubbed off me, regardless of how positive I may have been.

In my third year of university, we came across a very negative teacher, the encounter with whom always brought doom and gloom to my life. The thoughts remained as residual energy even after the encounter and subsequently affected my thoughts and behavior.

In the summers of my third year of university, I interned in a company that was full of talented individuals. They were very solution-driven and positive, and it was extremely uplifting just to be around them. I was constantly blown away by the positive energy and it automatically built into me too.

In my present, there is no one else I spend as much time with, as AK. That’s it, 70% of my daily interaction happens with her and the power she has is therefore incredible. People say we talk alike, we dress up similarly and we’ve even started to look alike.


After all these examples, I’ve one confession to make. To be honest, I don’t fully agree with this statement because it negates the fact we have our own consciousness as well. In some ways, it is also frustrating as if our identity is written by the people we choose to be with. The quote will be more accurate if we revise it to: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, including yourself”. I agree that if you hang out with a group of successful, positive-minded individuals, you will turn into one self-driven individual who shapes his/her future and if you hang out with a bunch of pessimists, you will start descending into the negative whirlpool. But if you rate high on consciousness and resilience, you can limit the impact others have on you.

Look. I don’t want you to regret upon any decisions you took, any friends you made. This rule definitely doesn’t ask you to cut away every single person who does not contribute nicely to your personality. But if you feel that the person is seriously dragging you down, you have all the authority to cut him/her away completely. Because if you are entrenching yourself in relationships which are not elevating you, you are neither helping yourself nor anybody else since you are not being the best you can be to them.


Stay happy! 🙂